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Not Breaking, but Interesting News

19 January 2015

 
 
The experts are not kidding when they tell you that sitting too long can kill you. Get your asses up every couple of hours and move around. Our bodies need our help to survive.

 
If you want to celebrate MLK day and you’re a student, your day at the movies is paid for. Feel free to thank the thoughtful African American business leaders who want to celebrate Dr. King by spreading some knowledge.

 
Gains so massive and so swift that you’d almost think the system and economy were set up to make the rich wealthy and the poor destitute.

 

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I’m confused as to why this isn’t catching on. I’d love to Netflix a bunch of magazines so I don’t end up with a Jenga-like pile of used magazines in a corner of my house. Let’s save some trees, y’all.

 
Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Mario doesn’t need you anymore. That’s right, he’s learning to be self-sufficient. He’s also figuring out how to initialize Skynet at this very moment—be afraid.

 
It all sounds too good to be true. Sadly, the most optimistic thing I can say in response to this news is, “I’ll believe it when I see it, Mr. President.”

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