WTF is a Vajayjay?



So I’m watching T.V. just now and I hear the women on screen say “vajayjay,” several times.


As some of you might have already imagined, hearing this term irks me for a multitude of reasons.  Chief among those reasons are:

  1. We don’t need to call the vagina a vajayjay when we’re talking, especially amongst ourselves; it’s OK to say the word vagina. It’s not a curse word. For example: Saying “vagina” isn’t the same thing as saying, “fuck.”
  2. The vagina isn’t the same thing as the vulva.
  3. The vagina is the tube that connects the outside world to the uterus and other lady parts.
  4. There’s also a word for the collection of those external female parts: it’s ‘vulva.’ Use it, because that is this word’s purpose and who are you to deny that word it’s purpose?
  5. We don’t call the feet the fa-feet-feet. No, they’re just feet. Sure, sometimes your “dogs may be barkin’,” but on the regular, they’re not dogs. *

*If they are, “dogs” “on the regular” then I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but: You sound like an idiot. Yes, to all of us.

I’m old and old fashioned in that I’m old and I like calling things by their proper names. Maybe I’m just a sucker for specificity, but I don’t think that makes me an asshole. I think that makes me less confusing when I talk and write.

Maybe you can help me out here. When did we stop calling the vulva by it’s actual proper name? When did that switchover happen? Was there an announcement? Press release, perhaps? How did I not receive notification? As a woman, I have all of the aforementioned female bits and I feel silly calling them by nicknames. Sure guys usually refer to their penises as dicks, but if I can’t even say vagina, without getting a sideways glance from strangers in public, then I’m never going to be able to pull off calling it my pussy.

excuse me trex

As a proud owner of both a vagina and vulva, I appreciate when people know the difference between the two. You know how they say that the Devil is in the details? Well, in this instance the Archangel of Ecstasy is in the precision.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is, don’t let there be any shame in your game. If it’s a vulva, call it a vulva. If you’re referring to your actual vagina, call it your vagina. I’m not ashamed of my lady parts so I’m not going to feel embarrassed for calling them by their proper names. I figure, If there’s a right way to do something, why not?